What You Should Do If your Wife or Girlfriend Threatens to Call the Police and Make False Allegations

Written by Dr Tara J. Palmatier on December 9, 2010 - 27 Comments
Categories: Abuse, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Domestic Violence, High-Conflict, Histrionic Personality Disorder, Legal, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Personality Disorders, Professional Victims, Psychological Abuse

The Ultimate Relationship Deal-Breaker for Men: False Allegations and Threatening to Call the Police discussed why false allegations of abuse and threats to call the police by your wife or girlfriend are abusive, why some high-conflict and personality disordered women engage in these behaviors and why it should be a clear sign that you need to protect yourself from further abuse and most likely end your relationship.
If your partner has threatened to call the police as an intimidation/control tactic, don’t kid yourself. You’re in an abusive relationship and, as the image to the right states, false allegations of abuse ARE abuse. The following list includes some basic precautions you may want to consider if you’re the target of these kinds of threats and behaviors.
What you should do if your wife, girlfriend or ex threatens to call the police and make false allegations of abuse:
1. Take it seriously. This is not a laughing matter, even if she pulls the classic “LOL, I was only kidding.” Reasonable, good people don’t threaten to call the police because they’re angry, have hurt feelings or aren’t getting their way nor do they joke about calling the police. They don’t threaten you with jail if you hold them accountable or break up with them. Even if she doesn’t follow through with her threat, you need to consider if you want to be with someone who believes it’s acceptable behavior to use the police to control and punish you. Totalitarian regimes use their police to control, intimidate and limit the freedom of their citizens. Do you want to be in a totalitarian relationship? One guess as to who the petty tyrant is.
2. Develop an exit strategy. If you’re not married; consult with an attorney regarding your rights and how to remove her from your home if you’re co-habitating. If her name is on the lease/mortgage, it will be trickier. If you’re married; consult with an attorney about how you can safely end the relationship and proceed with a high-conflict divorce. If you’re married and feel you can’t end the relationship just yet (e.g., you share children); consult with an attorney on how you can protect yourself.
3. Contact your local police. Let the police know about the threats and ask them for advice. Perhaps they will document your visit. However, do let them know it’s untrue and let them know about the abuse she’s been inflicting. Depending upon which officer you speak with, he or she may or may not be helpful.
4. Don’t allow yourself to be put in compromising situations. Do your best to not be alone with her. Always be sure to have a clear path to an exit when you’re in a room with her. Oftentimes, this kind of woman will try to back you into a corner and get in your face while she provokes/rages at you in an effort to get you to push her away. If she succeeds, she can then claim you shoved her and this can land you in jail.
Most importantly, do not hit her—even if she’s begging you to do so. These sick twists will actually taunt you, “You want to hit me now, don’t you? Why don’t you hit me? What’s the matter, big man? Scared of a woman? Go on, hit me you big p*ssy. Show me how tough you are.” If your wife/girlfriend engages in this kind of behavior, it’s almost a guarantee that she’ll eventually call the cops. Again, this is extremely sick behavior and you need to seriously consider what you’re still doing in this relationship.

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